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Hey Porter.Post 12 Truckalogue
Thanks again for the advice. And thanks for putting up with my 'venting'.
I wish this had never become a w/c issue in the first place. When it happened, I was expecting to make an appointment with Dr. Feelgood and go from there. But I thought I should send a message on the Qualcomm about it in case I couldn't make the delivery in CT. The weekend person said to call our safety guy on Monday - it happened on a Saturday night. The safety guy turned me over to the benefits girl, and it snowballed from there. Once it became a w/c issue, I couldn't see my own doctor, etc., and AMX came and took my truck. Now I wish I hadn't sent that message on the Qualcomm in the first place. I just didn't know it'd be so ... difficult dealing with workers comp issues.
What upsets me the most is that nobody in the workers comp circle cares that I'm in pain, and they don't care that it's possible something really is wrong. And now there's nowhere to turn. If I'd kept it to myself, and dealt with it my own way, I'd still have a little breathing room. I could have worked with Dr. Feelgood and my dispatcher, stringing appointments along every week or so, until I could find out what's really wrong. But now I have nowhere to turn, and nobody medically inclined who gives a damn. Dr. Moore would have at least acted like he cared. It makes me want to "dig in my heels", as you said, and say "Whoa! wait a minute!!"
But I don't want to lose this job, so I'll do whatever it takes to keep it. Other issues here at the house are incentives to keep the OTR job as well - I'm tired of being put in the middle of things I have no control over. So I am coming around, and my attitude is changing. It's like I said - I just feel like I have nowhere to turn with my shoulder now, and nobody who gives a damn.
Thanks again, Porter. Lots of love,
My older brother is something to do with workers comp. An adjuster or something. He suggested I request a "panel", which is, as far as I can tell, a state mandated second opinion wherein I get to chose my own doctor. I did so, in an email. She wouldn't respond via email, but she called me saying that I needed to go back to work because it's going to take a while to get the "panel" together, and the benefits girl said I didn't do any overhead work. It sounded more or less like an order.
I protested a little, but I could tell she didn't care anymore. Now that I'm resisting, nobody's as helpful and nice as they were in the beginning. To me it seems like a trap. If I go back to work, that'll prove nothing's wrong with me. If I don't go back to work, that's refusing the doctor's orders to do so - grounds for dismissal. I wish I'd never gotten involved in this.
My next step is to call the benefits girl in the morning and try to reason with the company. The stength in my right hand/arm has diminished to the point that I'm not sure I can pull the 5th wheel release anymore. I don't know if I can pull the pin on the tandems without tearing my tendons completely off the the bones. Since severe pain isn't acceptable as an excuse to remain off work (according to my brother) it'll have to be that I simply can't do the job - another good reason to fire me unless I can convince them that all I need is good medical attention.
If they won't listen to me, I'll just have to get back in a truck and try to make it work - or show them it won't work.
It's the most frustrating thing I've ever had to deal with. But I just have to take it one day at a time, one step at a time, and try not to worry about it. I trust God to lead me in the direction I'm supposed to go.
Good news: Buddy's leg looks almost normal now. She's healing up very nicely. And she hasn't even tried to tear her stitches out again. I'm really happy about her recovery. It still goes that nothing in the world feels better than one of her hugs
